Practical Pen Levitation For Everyday Use

After coming across something written by my own self years ago and realizing that nothing this entertaining seems to to have happened to me recently, I figured I’d post this old piece of prose today (with minor redaction) and give it a new home on the Internet, the land in which it was originally born.

The following was written a little less than five years ago: Friday, May 13, 2005. I was a senior in high school at the time.

A day or two ago at school I dropped my pen on the ground. (I had been carrying it in my hands instead of tucking it away in my pocket. I like that pen.) I was about to bend down and pick it up, when a thought struck me:

“I wonder if there’s a way I can get the pen without actually bending down...? What if I could make the pen come to me, to the height of my hand, so that all I would have to do was accept it into my grasp?”

I stood there and let the possibilities flow through my head. The first and most obvious solution that came to mind was quickly dismissed as I had forgotten to bring my magic wand to school that day. It looked as if I would have to solve this problem through conventional means.

After several seconds, I became fairly certain that the best first step to take would be to attempt to kick it up onto the concrete edge around the bushes. This would not bring the pen fully up to the desired height, but it would be a step in the right direction.

I retracted my leg, or so my brain had decided, but the neural impulses were still being sent along my spinal cord on their way to the muscles in my leg when a passing student picked the pen up off the ground.

He offered me the pen, saying “Is this yours?”

“Yes.” I replied.

“Really?” he skepticized.

“Yes.” I repeated. He handed me the pen and went on his way.

And so my goal had been reached, and in a more simple way than I ever thought possible. I considered that I may have held in my hand a pen that was inseparably connected to me through some willing of God.

So I dropped it on the ground again, just to make sure. Turns out I was wrong.